Those of the above might want to pass over this chapter: the horror, the horror!
We left Devils Lake behind and within a two hour drive, we had crossed into Minnesota. The first thing we noticed was that all of the rest area's were closed. K began to refer to Minnesota as, "The land of 10,000 lakes and not a single bathroom. We stopped for a break and found the locals none to happy with their state. The Governor and legislature had basically shut down the state for business. State parks - closed, fishing licenses, automobile licenses, building permits, street cleaners, poop patrol - all closed. We really had to watch our step due to the last closure. Folk's were ticked this being the 4th of July weekend and everyone heading out to N. Dakota for fun in the Sun.
So there we are, traveling down the highway's of America and thinking we need to get out of the land of the Minni minds. Initially, we decided to show our disdain by not spending a penny in the land of chaos and head to Wisconsin, the land of plenty....bathrooms and porcelain fixtures. Around 2:00, K was having second thoughts about leaving the Minni soda's as she was Jonsesing to get out to swim. We turned off Rt. 2 and found a Army Corp campground on the shores of Lake Winnibigoshish. Wow! A campground that was actually open and had space.(We later found out why the lack of business.) We set up camp and went for a walk down to the water.
We were somewhat amused by the lake's name and on a information/history board learned that Winnibigoshish is an ancient native American term which translates to, "Bad Water". This should have set off screaming sirens and alarm bells but we were in our "dum de dum" frame of mind.
We had our dinner and K went for a swim. Around 8:30, the sky grew ominous, the wind picked up and thunder pealed from the West. As we began to bring stuff in we began to see and feel an over-abundance of mosquito's present. These were not your normal mosquito. They flew in formations, their teeth glowing in the fading light. I observed 4 of their bretheran perched on our citronella candle munching away. I truly believe I heard one of them giggle as he flew past our can of Off in search of warm blooded mammals. We stripped down to shower off the gunk of sweat, Off, dead body parts and our own blood but that only seemed to anger our nemesis and they redoubled their attack. By now, it was pouring buckets of rain and the night had turned to day with the constant flash of lightening. K went out to lower our awning from the 60mph gusts. I cringed and cried like a little girl as I heard her distress as the formations zeroed in to a easy target. I begged her to seek shelter but K continued with her herculean efforts to save our awning from destruction - epic!
We sought the refuge of our camper only to realize that 70 - 100 troops had followed us in. Things got strange as the battle wore on. K managed the big guns (dish towel) as I went for the two handed squash. Blood and body parts decorated our camper. Just as we felt the tide was turning, General Bloodsucker sent in more reserves. The air was filled with the swish of dish towels and slaps of hands and we were able to prevail. The silence was eery, and the camper resembled Gettysburg. We had won, but at a cost: my lip and ankle's were swollen with the venom of a thousand dead martyrs. K had done better but had suffered as well. The frightening aspect was that there were hundreds of the enemy staring at us from the other side of the screens - patrolling and looking for a way in - in to suck on our sweet red nectar - the horror, the horror.....
We managed to settle down for the night even while we kept one eye open for additional attacks. But the question was.....how do you go out to pee with the enemy waiting to attack bare body parts. Neither of us was willing to go out undefended, but K's need for a beer to steady her nerves was her own undoing. I will forever remember her cries of agony. Me, I chose an empty chili can - being a guy does have it's advantages.
The next morning, we put on long pants and long sleeved shirts, reinforced ourselves with Off and broke camp in record time. We both took additional wounds in our effort to get out of there. We found a restaurant in the nearest town...Deer Creek. There was nobody around on the street because everybody in town was in the cafe. I gained a new respect for Minnesotans. Not only are they able to survive without rest areas or police officers, they obviously have a way of avoiding being eaten alive by mosquitoes.....the top of the food chain.
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