July 26, 2011-Columbia Missouri to Limon Colorado

It was kind of a working day that just managed to get stranger as the day wore on.  You will understand my meaning momentarily but please no cheating and going to the end of this posting.

Up at 7:00 and out the door by 8:30 – not a bad start.  We are cruising down I – 70 West and it dawns on me how Missouri came by its motto of, “The Show Me State.”  The highway is cluttered with billboards for every possible product/service/minutia known to man (or woman for that matter).  The most popular billboard featured at most exits are those encouraging male drivers to stop in for “adult entertainment” featuring various types of toys, film, arcades and women sans clothing – of course this must be the “Show Me State.”  The one billboard I did succumb to was Fireworks, I get such a bang out of them, (groan).

Pyro City, my kind of place

Passion?  We have a passion for life

We cross into Kansas and K.C. was an interesting city but after passing through, the countryside was so dull that I found myself actually missing Missouri’s bill boards.  We stopped in Leavenworth of famous prison fame/notoriety.  We actually had lunch in the same bar/restaurant where 41 years ago all activity came to a screeching halt when my brother and I thumbed our way into town and stopped in for a soda.  They were very friendly now, and I am unsure if there has been a change in management philosophy or I have a lot less hair then I did then.

Same guy, less hair, better outcome

There were lots of roadside attractions advertised – Robert Doles birthplace, Annie Oakley museum, Boot Hill, largest prairie dog, rattlesnakes, 6 legged cow, buffalo…sadly, we missed them all though I fought hard to see Bob’s birthplace.  The land flattened out to such a degree that I could have watched my dog run away for 2 days. (Credit to Scott for that line).  We were so under impressed with Kansas that rather then stop near the border, we decided to press on into Colorado and spend the night in Limon.

Boring, boring and 108 degrees

Now this brings up another story from 41 years ago.  My brother and I got busted for hitchhiking 3 miles outside of Limon and had to walk back into town on a day when the farenheit was over 100.  The officer did everything in his power to scare and intimidate us.  I will just say that it was one of our bleaker days.

Now, let’s return to the present.  When talking to my brother, he was incredulous that we would even consider stopping in Limon – he actually warned me to find any other location.  My attitude, foolhardy in hindsight was that lightening never strikes the same place twice.

So there we are, cruising across Colorado, singing John Denver songs and feeling that Rocky Mountain High, even though there is not a mountain in sight.  The temp is still in 3 figures as we cruise ever closer to Limon, my old nemesis.  We are 1 and ½ miles away when I feel the engine stalling and K says we’re out of gas.  We coast as far as we could and pull over on the berm, flashers on, hope off.  Giant 18-wheelers cruise by at 75 mph and shake the truck.  We notice the sky darkening and major lightening flashing across the distant sky.  AAA says they will be out within the hour as they have considered our plight to be serious – (how long if it wasn’t serious?)  The wind and traffic are rocking the camper, lightening continues to get closer, tumbleweed is tumbling across the interstate, rain is now coming down in buckets and even though the camper be a rockin,’, we be praying that Triple A come a knockin’!

The storm clouds gather

Whipping by at 75 without so much as a hi yall!

K and I are just sitting in the truck, being buffeted by trucks, cars, rain and wind and just trying to be cool – no problem, we be cool.  It is so bad out that we see two cop cars go by and they don’t even stop, as it is too bad to venture out.

Finally, Virginia from AAA shows up in her ’87 Buick Skylark and she puts two gallons of gas, wonderful gasoline, petrol, go juice, into our tank and off we go.  Now the punch line.  Virginia tells us to fill up at the next stop but K is suggesting, hey, we got plenty of gas – let’s head to the hotel.  I won.

Now Limon’s still not done with me.  Every restaurant in town is closed except the truck stop selling day old corn dogs and Denny’s, a tough choice (Denny's won by a schooch).  We spend 10 minutes and 2 phone calls trying to find the hotel as it is so far off the beaten path, it is on a trail.

Well we are now somewhat fed and tucked into our hotel.  Limon’s last twist is that even though Wi Fi is free, Limon won’t let me on the net. Next time, I will listen to you Dennis.